I

When the guru sat down to worship each evening, the ashram cat would get in the way and distract the worshipers. So he ordered that the cat be tied during evening worship.

After the guru died the cat continued to be tied during evening worship. And when the cat died, another cat was brought to the ashram so that it could be duly tied during evening worship.

Centuries later learned treatises were written by the guru’s disciples on the religious and liturgical significance of tying up a cat while worship is performed.

–Anthony De Mello

 

II

A mother is showing her daughter how to cook a brisket. “The first thing you do is whack off the end, like this, and put it along side the rest,” the mother says. The daughter thinks this is odd.

“Why do you cut off the end?” she asks.

“That’s the way my mother always did it, and that’s the way she taught me.”

The girl goes to her grandma and asks her why she cuts the end off the brisket before cooking it. “That’s the way my mother always did it, and that’s the way she taught me,” says the grandma.

The daughter is lucky enough to have her great-grandma still living, so she goes to her in an effort to solve the mystery. “Why do you cut off the end of the brisket before you cook it?” asks the daughter.

“Because it was too big to fit in my pan,” says the great-grandma.

 

III

A congregation was arguing over whether one should stand or sit during the prayer called the Shema. Half of the congregation said one should sit;the other half insisted one should stand. Finally, the rabbi decided to ask the oldest member of the synagogue.

“Now, tell us,” said the rabbi, “what is our tradition? Should we stand during the Shema?”

“No,” said the old man. “That is not our tradition.”

“Well, then,” said the rabbi, “ should we sit during the Shema?”

“No,” the old man, “that is not our tradition.”

“But we need to know what to do,” said the rabbi, “because our congregation members can’t stop arguing!”

“That,” said the oldest member of the congregation, “that is our tradition.”

Happy Holidays, no matter what your traditions are!